Alien Seed (1989)
9th March 2018 ++++ Review by Kevin
After Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil we felt we needed to get back to 
our ‘bread and butter’ film type, something so bad it’s funny and Alien Seed did not disappoint. Some say that Alien Seed is a good story spoiled by a bad film, we say it’s a bad story made worse by an even worse film. It’s a shame really as the premise of the film isn’t bad.
When a film states boldly that its main star is Erik Estrada you know you’re in for a treat as the star of CHiPs starred in another Plopcorn favourite, Chupacabra (review here)
Alien Seed is a story about aliens impregnating a woman (with a child obviously) who will eventually become the new messiah and bring peace to the world. This is despite the attempts of the evil Dr Stone (Erik) and a secretive government agency MJ12 who want to kill the child before he brings the said peace to the world; well that’s our best guess, and if you read the tag line on the movie cover you’ll see this is open to some debate –
They invaded the Planet – and violated our women! Can the alien invasion be stopped?!” Let me just show you that cover…
Honestly, whoever wrote that had clearly watched the first five minutes of the film and given up, and if you watch Alien Seed, you can understand why.
After Dr Stone hunts down and kills Lisa’s sister, Mary, who had been impregnated with the alien seed first, Lisa is then selected for impregnation and forced to go on the run with help from a newspaper reporter, whom she befriends way too quickly. What then follows is some awful car chases and some pointless nonsense, involving a church like cult that worship the aliens and is coincidentally where Dr Stones torture base is housed, before Lisa becomes a gun-toting maniac and kills the bad guys..
Insane as the story sounds it does not do justice to how bad the film is. Let’s take the car chases; these are some of the worst car chases we have ever seen – they are low speed with stunts an 8 year old on a BMX could exceed and flow so badly they may as well be a bunch of scenes taken from different movies and strung together, which pretty much sums up the whole film.
Pay particular notice to the front of the car when it crashes through some cardboard boxes, it looks like they put some protective covering over the car so they didn’t have to repair it afterwards.
In addition to car chases there are a few scenes where people are chased on foot, yet every time the victim hides out of site they run out and start the chase all over again for no reason, it’s like no one in the film can hide for toffee. No one, that is, apart from Erik Estrada; as the main star he does a fantastic job of not appearing for most of the film! Well played Erik, well played.
Add to these shenanigans the cheesiest electronic keyboard soundtrack you can imagine (something that sounds like a Bontempi on demo mode), the dodgiest alien special effects and the fact the scenes make so little sense that half-way through they use a new bulletin to try and bring the story together and you know why we have an awful movie.
The car chase where they drive out into a desert is a particular highlight. When it switches to an interior view of the car, you can clearly see over his shoulder that he’s driving through a city, meanwhile back outside we’re back in the desert, classic Plopcorn. We also cracked up when a guy gets stuck on a fence while evading his pursuers and is caught and shot, only for the pursuers to open the gate right next to him and walk through.
This film is so bad it’s funny to watch but it’s not so funny that you don’t suffer, therefore we have to give it
only one for true Plopcorners and definitely one to watch with friends.
Thankfully you don’t have to buy Alien Seed to watch it, it’s all on youtube here
