Our Reviews
Bad Milo (2013)
When it comes to good plopcorn movies it’s hard to go wrong with a creature feature. One of those movies where the prime antagonist is a rubberised monster that you only get hints of for the first act of the movie. Bad Milo does not disappoint.
Read page →Black Dynamite
Listen up jive turkeys, I’m gonna tell you all about the baddest muvva the other side of the pond. He goes by the name of Black Dynamite and yo’ betta listen up sucka because Black Dynamite is dishing out righteous justice to the man and righteous loving to the mammas. Set in the 70s Black Dynamite is a mixture of a kung fu (bruce lee variety) and Blaxploitation with a healthy dollop of spoof.
Read page →Bubba Ho-Tep
Originally reviewed 30th April 2014 -++-- Bubba Ho-Tep Review: --++-- by Kevin Maude
Read page →Bula Quo (2013)
Sometimes the best laid plans of mice and men go awry and you just have to grab on by the balls and get to the bitter end. That’s what happened this month and let me explain why.
Read page →Class of Nuke 'em High
Originally reviewed 3rd July 2015 --++-- Class of Nuk’em High --++-- by Kevin When a film starts with a geeky student accidentally drinking toxic nuclear waste and then going on to melt before leaping to his death through a window you know you are watching a special kind of film. Welcome to Tromaville where the High School is right next door to a nuclear power plant. Be amazed as the plant is left to operate in a haphazard fashion in order to save money. Marvel at what happens when some of the students are exposed... to toxic waste. Prepare for all sorts of weirdness to happen.
Read page →Elves (1989)
Christmas at Plopcorn Towers, is a time of merriment, fun and Christmas jumpers so when it was time to sit down and watch our Christmas movie we always look forward to something fun and festive. However, there’s always been one burning question that has haunted us in Christmas past: Why has there never been a Christmas film featuring Grizzly Adams, Nazis and Incest? Well would you believe it, not only has someone fulfilled our wish but they did it way back in in 1989; long before we even realised we wanted it.
Read page →Evil Cult (2003)
As is often the way at Plopcorn towers, we end up watching a sequel to a film before we actually see the original film. This is often because the budgets of the original films are so small they get less exposure and often are unheard of. It then can be a struggle to find the original film in a format that is watchable because no one is showing it or you can’t buy it. Indeed, such was the case for Evil Cult, the original Neil Stryker film made on a shoe string budget.
Read page →Five Girls (5ive Girls)
Originally Reviewed 15th May 2015 --++-- Five Girls Review: --++-- by Kevin Maude A film where five young and attractive girls are forced use their special powers to battle a force of evil; it sounds like a perfect plot so what could possibly go wrong? Quite a lot as it happens! Take the idea of five attractive young women in saucy clothing fighting evil, sounds good right? Well what if they are actually girls, I mean school girls made to look sexy and showing a lot of skin… Ring Ring “hello, this is operation Ewe tree”.... OK the actresses are in their early 20s but if you say they are school girls then that's what they are. Perhaps having a lesbian twist, potentially bold and interesting. But no.. not a full on committed lesbian character , more a very slight bit of titillation in a desperate attempt to make amends for the plot we suspect, I mean the girl became a lesbian because her dad beat her – could it be any more cliché?
Read page →Galaxina (1980)
Sometimes you just don’t ‘get’ a movie and other times you do. It’s what makes watching terrible movies such fun; like Forrest Gump opening up a box a chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.
Read page →Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)
When someone tells you there is a film you have to watch it is often with a sense of trepidation that you look it up; after all, one man’s “The Room” is another man’s “Greasy Strangler”. So when we were told we needed to watch Hard Ticket to Hawaii we can be forgiven for shrugging our shoulders and putting it on the back burner for a while. That was a mistake, buy the damn film and watch it. We finally did and so should you!
Read page →Heavy Trip (2018)
Here at Plopcorn towers we scour the world looking for the best worst films to watch just so you don’t have to. Sometimes it can be a lot of fun and other times it can be a painful experience. Therefore, when we decided to watch a Finnish film with subtitles about a death metal band we were not looking forward to it. How wrong we were…
Read page →Hunt to Kill
Originally Reviewed 1st February 2016 --++-- Hunt to Kill --++-- by Kevin Take the legendary WWE Wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin and put him in a film where he gets to beat up and kill some bad people and you should be on to a winner. The Texas Rattle Snake was one of the most entertaining people in sports entertainment, a real tough SOB with a witty smash-mouth style and the physic to back it up. However, upon watching Hunt to Kill we were left underwhelmed, a feeling of disappointment residing in our hearts that the opportunity to camp the film up with wrestling gimmickry had been missed. Stone Cold healing himself with moss and bits of his shirt and then going on to dispatch the bad guys makes for a half decent watch but there is nothing special here. There are no wrestling moves in the fights, no wrestling or Stone Cold puns or anything a bit tongue in cheek to celebrate the legend that is Steve Austin. I mean, he kills a man with a Flair gun and doesn’t even go Woooooooooooooo! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1BvkpykY7I Don’t get us wrong, it’s not a bad film, it’s just not bad or good enough to be great, it’s mediocre. You could put any action type hero in here and it wouldn’t make a real difference at all. You know the script before the film starts, there are no surprises, it’s action by numbers “they took his [Daughter/Wife/Dog/Sex Toy] and now he is going to make them pay!”. Of course there are lots of stupid things that make no sense, like magic reloading crossbows or levitating up cliffs but even these are unremarkable. We know the film is done on a budget, indeed the only striking thing about this film is that there are actually very few people in it. There are, in fact, more stunt actors that actual actors, by which I mean the people playing the roles. So let’s have a look at the characters. • Jim Rhodes: A big muscular but accident prone park range/cop type with a tendency to get shot, stabbed, beaten and fall down cliffs but still survive due to his almost superhuman powers of recovery and hiking. He has a daughter that truly needs a slap. • The Daughter: So annoying that we can’t recall her name. Indeed there is no way that Stone Cold would have tolerated her back-chat and dirty looks; she would have been on the receiving end of a stunner 30 seconds after she appears in the film, and that’s the bottom line • Banksy: An intellectual villain that is a master of planning and is always one step ahead of his opponents, apart from when that opponent is big muscular but accident prone park range/cop type; then he just falls completely to shit. • Cockney Villain: Taught at the Dick Van-Dyke school of Cockney • Dorky Tech Villain: A walking cliché. • Token Black Guy: He’s a bit rapey of course. • Dominatrix Bitch: Another cliché but yet no gratuitous bondage clothing shots. • Old Double-crossing Criminal: The catalyst for the whole thing taking place in “the wild” – because driving a car to Canada would be stupid right? • Old sheriff: Killed for no reason • Other friendly park ranger/cop: Killed for no reason • Jim’s old partner: Killed for no real reason Actually, come to think of it the last three didn’t even need to be in the film! Overall Plopcorn 3:16 says dull! Hunt to Kill on IMDB
Read page →Iron Sky
Original Review 19th July 2014 --++-- Iron Skies Review: --++-- by Kevin Maude The trailer for the film had us quite excited because it looked pretty good so let's see if it lived up to our expectations? No, it didn't. To be fair though I think our expectations were pretty high. In general the film is quirky and playful with lot of tongue in cheek moments and for that we applaud it. Once you get passed the idea of the film being a serious Space Nazi film and realise that the whole thing is a big grin-fest you are on ...a winner. The hardest and most ridiculous thing to deal with in Iron Skies is the plot. "Really?" you say, "a film about Space Nazis has a poor story line; we are shocked". So let's be clear here, we mean the plot over and above the whole Space Nazi thing. The story line just jumps about like the random ramblings of a 12 year old, Here are just a examples:
Read page →Kill Zombie
Originally Reviewed 4th August 2014 --++-- Kill Zombie Review: --++-- by Kevin Kill Zombie has a few things stacked against it, it’s foreign and it has subtitles. Normally this is a death nail for a film but Kill Zombie is different because Kill Zombie is good, in fact it is very good! Set in a Amsterdam during a Zombie apocalypse the film centres around Aziz and his quest to rescue the girl from the office to whom he has taken a shine. Aziz is joined by a group of unlikely companions who’s only real interest is to... survive and from there on the chaos commences.
Read page →Malibu Express (1985)
Magnum's clone gets a job where everything seems upfront... but is it?
Read page →Neil Stryker and the Tyrant of time
We love movies that had double barrelled titles; you know exactly what you are going to get from the film. Take Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone? Actually take it far away and remove it from the Harry Potter franchise if you please. Probably the worst of the Harry Potter films but it defined a franchise that definitely got better as the films progressed. You knew what you were getting from the moment the title came up on the screen or DVD cover. Now Neil Stryker and Tyrant of Time is the second in a franchise that stretches back to originally 2003 and a film called Evil Cult (Now on our Plopcorn radar after watching the Tyrant of Time).
Read page →Nude Nuns with Big Guns
Originally reviewed - 27 March 2014 --++-- Nude Nuns with Big Guns Review: --++-- by Kevin Maude
Read page →Outlaw of GOR
--++-- Outlaw of Gor Review: --++-- (originally reviewed 13/3/2014) This film is a sequel to the creatively titled "Gor" and is based on the books written by John Norman. The film tells the tale of Tarl Cabbot who is whisked away from earth to the mystical land of Gor, along with his colleague Watney Smith (imagine if Rick Morranis had a more annoying brother that was an even worse actor than he is). Once in Gor the story really hots-up…. wait, no it doesn’t but that does not matter. We don’t want to give away the plot so fortunately there isn’t really one and there is nothing to tell.
Read page →Popcorn
Originally reviewed 14th December 2014 --++-- Popcorn Review: --++--by Kevin Set in a movie theatre showing a 50s horrorthon, the film is a bit of a teen horror fest crossed with 'Face off'. It's full of cheesy early 90's characters including a weird sort of Frank Zappa cult guy as the baddie who made masks of his victims to hide his identity and gruesome true face. It had lots of bad acting, lots of obvious deaths, and lots of terrible dialog; but it did have some good spoof films that were being shown in the backd...rop, like the film about a giant mosquito. In fact some of the best parts were in the spoof 50s films they were showing; if only we could review them!
Read page →Sharknado 4: The Fourth Awakens
Originally Reviewed 15th November 2016 --+-+-- Sharknado 4 --+-+-- By Martin Let us start by saying you know exactly what you are going to get from a film called Sharknado. It’s got sharks, it’s got ‘nado’s and they don’t often disappoint in either respect. The film starts 5 years after the end of Sharknado 3 and with an advert for a new hotel called Shark World in the heart of Las Vegas’s strip… a recipe for trouble if ever there was one. The world is now protected by Astro X’s patented anti-sharknado protection devices and this has allowed Fin and family to get over the loss of April who was crushed by the Space Shuttle in the last movie, which may sound ridiculous but was one of the more normal things that happened in Sharknado 3 What obviously occurs next is as predictable as Sharknado movies get; a tornado ravages Las Vegas, destroying Shark World, once again subjecting the world to the terror of Sharknado. And that’s just the first act…. From here on in it’s a roller coaster of laughs and cameo’s that don’t disappoint. I’d guess there’s probably close to 50 different celebrities clamouring to get a line in whilst being tossed wilfully about by the Sharknado. Honourable mentions go out to Gary Busey who is just completely nuts, Steve Guttenberg in a Lavalantula cross-over cameo (Will we see Fin in Lava2Lantula2?), Alexandra Paul (looking a bit ropey) and Gena Lee Nolin (FYNE!) both in their Baywatch costumes. And that’s not even covering all the nods to other films, The Wizard of Oz and The Sword in the Stone to name but two. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbcQaXx0fFc “But” we hear you say, ”just one Sharknado, is that really enough?” Evidently not as the story writers obviously want to up the tension 400%. Cue Boulder-nado, Oil-nado (eventually becoming a Lava-nado), Lightning-nado, Nuclear-nado and my personal favourite… a Cownado! (There could be a whole spin-off on Cownado – see what we did there, spin off? Get it? Ahem….) When Astro X’s new-fangled technology fail to resolve the new ‘nado’s we’re left with Fin and co. having to race around with everyone’s favourite superhero, Colonel Shephard played by The Hoff, to help out until Reynolds (owner of Astro X) can come up with a way to stop all the destruction. It’s at this point however things get a bit more serious as Cyborg April comes back from the dead to rescue her family complete with new robotic arm and multiple attachments, like a cross between Iron Man and Inspector Gadget. I did wonder if, in a Star Trek:TNG kinda way, whether she was like Lt.Commander Data, fully functional in every department, but the sight of the lightsabre coming out of her arm socket sort of put an end to those thoughts – an obvious nod to the film’s title. Gary Busey plays her mad scientist father who has painstakingly put her back together from the wreckage of the space shuttle and although you never explicitly see the two of them together on screen at the same time (there’s some really good cut scene editing going on and we speculated that he is too volatile to be in the same studio as everyone else and was filmed in isolation in his own studio!) he rather steals the scenes with his bat-shit craziness. Needless to say (and without spoiling the end of the film) things work out in the end with what I can only describe as a 10 shark roast and little Gil (April and Fin’s son – who incidentally is huge for 5 years old, to the point where he is almost a fully grown white man) gets a touching reunion with his mum; another classic ending to a classic Sharknado film. Oh and did I mention the CPR yet?? Fan-bloody-tastic!!! So what could easily have become cluttered, clumpy and just a series of one line gags (similar to Airplane) turns out to be a huge rout of fun and giggles, not taking itself too seriously (there’s no Sharks on the International Space Station this time) and delivers laugh after laugh along with some great cameo’s. The writer has already said that he’s got plans for another 3 films if SyFy channel want to do more and I can only hope they do especially with how the film ends. (almost perfect!) Sharknado 4 on IMDB Sharknado 4 Official Website
Read page →Snake Outta Compton (2018)
"A film that follows the journey of an aspiring rap crew on their quest to make it big while tackling a huge snake. Wait, what?”
Read page →The Roller Blade Seven (1991)
You’re 3 minutes into extra time against a team you can’t afford to lose to but suddenly they are through and only it’s up to you to stop them before they score and knock you out of the cup. You know what you’re doing when you slide in heavy and get a red card for your efforts but they are not able to score and your team goes through, though you will miss the next match. You “took one for the team’ and boy, that’s what we did when we watched The Roller Blade Seven. We’re not even sure how we got to hear about the film. Some random website listing the worst films of all time is probably. In principle a film with roller skating, ninjas, sword fighting and martial arts all set in a post-apocalyptic dystopia should be perfect Plopcorn fodder. We should have been onto a winner but we had not counted on was a filmmaking technique called Zen Filmmaking, which has all the artistic impact of a frog in a blender. Zen Filmmaking (also known as or the art of not having a screenplay, or script or other important plot/directing materials) is the brain child of Donald G. Jackson (The film’s Director who also plays Father Donaldo) and Scott Shaw (who plays Hawk). The Zen Filmmaking website (and we kid you not there is one at www.zenfilmmaking.com) defines Zen Filmmaking as: “There are no rules, no definitions and relies on the creative energy of the filmmaker to be the only defining factor. This allows for a spiritually pure source of immediate inspiration to be the only guide in the filmmaking process. Thereby, leading the practitioner towards cinematic enlightenment’ or We at Plopcorn would define it as “Am-dram types pissing about to create a load of shitey nonsense” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsk6vFGzX3I From what we can make out, Hawk is a samurai sword wielding biker who occasionally helps out Father Donaldo and the Masters of Light institute out by carrying out special missions for them. This time however, it’s personal as the evil overload, Pharaoh, has kidnapped Sister Sparrow who just happens to be Hawk’s sister, to make her a slave! However, the fact his sister has been kidnapped doesn’t seem enough of an incentive for Hawk though so Donaldo offers him a new bride as an incentive and Hawk’s interest in soon piqued; from this we can conclude that Hawk is, not only mercenary in character, but also a bit rapey. Pharaoh lives in the Wheelzone, a ‘futuristic’ storm drain (as seen in Terminator 2 and Grease) and when Father Donaldo tells him this, Hawk eats some magic mushrooms with Tarot (played by cult star Karen Black) to teach him to skate as that’s the only way to travel in the Wheelzone; time for a drug enduced montage i think! In the Wheelzone Hawk is joined by a Kabuki mime, a pacifist and a banjo playing fella covered head to toe in bandages, who we nicknamed “Burnt Reynolds” (Deliverance reference if you didn’t get it). The films many fight scenes are possibly some of the worst fight sequences we’ve ever seen. Have you any idea how hard it is to choreograph a fight on roller blades? Can you imagine how much more difficult it is to choreographed those fights with untrained martial artists? Well, neither could the Director and the end result reminds us of the play fighting we did when we were 9 years old. It looks like a live action role-play event being carried out by a bunch of drama students on roller blades. Shit as that sounds they then manage to make it even worse by looping action shots 3, 4 5 or more times. It’s like action hell. We did enjoy the roller skating ninja who appears out of nowhere (on skates)… skates up to our group of heroes and kills Burnt Reynolds and the mime without anyone blinking an eyelid but only because the banjo had got on our tits by this point . Even then, seeing the death stroke poorly executed 5 times was painful. The end of the film is just insane, and not in a good way. We won’t tell you about how we get to the finale as we’re not sure we could do it justice or that we understand what happened but the final ride into the sunset does need to be mentioned. Hawk escapes with his bride on his motorbike, which you are forced to watch eight times, all from different parking spaces in the Wheelzone parking lot. This could tip us that actually the film works on what’s commonly known as the multi-verse theory (but we think it’s just more shitey nonsense). Perhaps each fight scene or important sequence is repeated for this reason, or perhaps it’s just shitey nonsense. We’re not sure how Hawk’s bike got to the parking lot, his bike magically disappeared when he entered the Wheelzone, one of many, many “WTF?” moments in the film. Could it be that the Wheelzone is a different dimension? When you leave the dimension to return back to your original dimension (hopefully) your bike would be there waiting for you. We need to stop trying to make sense of it to be honest and accept its all just a bit shit. Anyway, whilst they escape they are chased by Officer Daryl Skates who mercilessly shoots at Hawk and his bride leaving them what appears to be dead at the side of the road. But are they? Hawk rises after we see the scene 5 times so perhaps he is alive in another universe but his bride? We never know. Overall this film has little to recommend itself. At 90 minutes long there’s probably only 25 minutes of footage. Each character is introduced via a cut away telling you who they are (for example, Utility ninja) and the editing so each important scene is repeated too many times makes you want to turn it off. We’ve not even mentioned in our review that Sylvester Stallone’s brother is one of the stars of the film as he’s hardly in it (though in it more than Erik Estrada is in Evil Cult) and the fight scene on the beach is unbelievable for the number of times it gets repeated. We haven't even mentioned that Sister Sparrow looks like she's a member of the KKK such is our feeling that the film is the biggest load of shit since Biff's car got covered in Back to the Future. It’s been a real chore to write anything about this film and that tells you everything you need to know. Watch it if you really must but we took one for the team here and you all owe us big time. Possibly the worst movie ever. - watch at your own peril The Roller Blade 7 on IMDB
Read page →The Room (2003)
Whenever you ask anyone who watches bad films what to watch next, there are always a few familiar faces in the list depending on what your criteria are. There are those films that are just bad stories; those that have bad special effects or even those that rely on a ‘stellar’ cast to go through the motions.
Read page →The Velocipastor (2018)
When a priest loses his faith, God gives him the power to protect the innocent, but at what cost?
Read page →They Live (1988)
There was a bit of a debate about the validity of watching “They Live” as part of Plopcorn. This centred on the question “is it a B Movie?”. To answer this we needed a good definition of 'B Movies'; a quick search on Bing allowed us to get to onto Google where we found this: “A low-budget film of inferior quality made for use as a supporting feature in a cinema programme.” Clearly by this definition “They Live” is not a B Movie, but Plopcorn isn’t just about B Movies is it? Our quest is explore strange new movies, to seek out old movies that no one else is watching and to boldly go… nope… wait, to tell you about them. That’s right, we watch really bad films so you don’t have to and let you know what you can watch safely. So whist “They Live” has actual actors that can act, a good plot and healthy budget, we need to review It because while many of you may be familiar with “They Live” there are a lot more people out there who have never heard of it. Besides, we watched “The Rollerblade Seven” last month and we felt like we needed a reward – F.U. Burnt Reynolds; F.U. Zen Film Making! Directed by John Carpenter and based on Ray Nelson’s short story "Eight O'Clock in the Morning", “They Live” is a cult classic that deserves the same status at Big Trouble in Little China or Escape from New York. Carpenter’s direction gives the familiar feel you get from his best works with his ever so well balanced tongue in cheek approach. This keeps things from getting too heavy and means he’s able to delivers some genuine laugh out loud moments alongside a pretty compelling plot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJC4R1uXDaE The story of the movie is straight forward but at the same point a really thought provoking concept that gives you a “too close for comfort” vibe. In modern America the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer, with many now forced to live in shanty towns and rely on soup kitchens for food. John Nada is one of those poor trying to make their way in life and for the role Carpenter cast WWF legend, sorry WWE legend (thank you Prince Charles and the Pandas) Rowdy Roddy Piper. Nada is looking for a chance to get on his feet and seize the American dream. Taking a job at a construction site he befriends Frank Armitage, played by the equally legendary Keith David (this man has been in almost everything ever made we tell you). Whilst staying in the shanty town Nada stumbles into a rebel enclave hidden in a church where he picks up a pair of sun glasses. These iconic sun glasses allow him to see what’s really going out there and when he puts them on for the first time the real fun begins. Unfortunately his inability to be subtle means he soon becomes a wanted man. Nada tries to convinces Armitage to see the truth around him by beating him in an amazing WWF inspired fight scene lasting a whopping five minutes and fifty three seconds! Don’t worry it includes many classic wrestling moves though it’s a shame it didn’t include Roddy’s signature sleeper finisher. Ultimately he and Armitage join the rebellion and set out to free mankind from our alien overlord's unwitting slavery. Throughout the movie there is a deep political undertone that was pushing back against the corruption and commercialisation that was coming to the fore in the 80’s – the whole Buy Buy Buy culture. This makes for some really compelling scenes as Nada has his eyes opened for the first time; it may be fiction but you really can believe it could be happening, in some ways you almost suspect is. “They Live” performed well upon its release and was also nominated for two Saturn Awards, but then started to tank. It also doesn’t get the same airtime as its older siblings, which can be found skulking around most Sci-Fi channels. This could be because it’s Piper and not Kirk Russel but we see this as part of the movie’s charm, in fact as far as we are concerned Roddy does a pretty good job. So what other reason is there for this movie to bomb and disappear off the radar? Could it be that it is a little too close to the truth – maybe we all need to wake up a little? This was a view supported by Mr Carpenter himself who, when asked why it bombed, said “those who go to the movies in vast numbers these days don't want to be enlightened". The movie may be almost 30 years old but the theme fits right in today and it could be ripe for a remake even - though let's hope they don't! There you have it, “They Live” is a forgotten classic that has achieved cult status. For an 'under the radar' film it has been referenced lots of times in pop culture. From lines used in Duke Nukem’s famous tribute to the quote “I have come here to chew bubble-gum and kick ass… and I’m all outta bubble-gum” – one of the best lines from a movie ever, to the characters in The Matrix wearing sunglasses when within the Matrix (to indicate they can see the truth) you can see this has influenced lots media since it's release. Yes, it does hail from the bad guys can’t shoot and heroes never need to reload school of action but it was the 80s, so what can you expect? If you have not seen the light and watched this movie you must rectify this immediately and join the ranks of those that came to watch an epic movie and chew bubble gum and find you are all out of gum – OBEY! They Live on IMDB
Read page →Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil (2010)
We’ve all seen the ingredients before, you take a couple of hillbillies, a handful of college students, a creepy cabin and place them in an isolated location and allow to simmer. We all know how it’s going to play out, or do we? You see, Spaghetti Bolognese is mainly mincemeat, onions, tomatoes and pasta, but if you add a bit of cheese then you now have the ingredients for lasagna. Tucker and Dale manages to create movie lasagna by adding some cheese.
Read page →