Lavalantula
Originally reviewed 23rd September 2016
–++– Lavalantula –++– by Kevin
When a film stars an iconic actor who is known primarily for his role in certain film franchise it will always be tricky to forget that the actor not playing that specific role. For example, imagine Roger Moore trying to play Hamlet. Lavalantula starts Steve Guttenberg and so we really need to get over the whole Police Academy thing and move on so that Steve has a chance (this is your one and only chance to shout “Mahoney!”. I mean, let’s face i…t, apart from Cocoon we are really struggling to think of any else Steve has ever been in. I guess we should move on.
So on with the film. Colton West (played my Mr Guttenberg) is an film star that is known for his iconic role in certain film franchise (in this case The Red Rocket). Oddly the film crew supporting Colton is made up of Jones (insert odd noises) and Hooks (all quite until she loses her temper)… I mean Marty and Teddy. OK, so now it just looks like a reunion for Police Academy. I guess we should move on. Anyhow, Colton’s career is in a spiral and he is forced to swallow his professional integrity and star in a cheap insect based horror action film… hold on a minute… erm, you’re seeing the irony here yes? I guess we should move on.
So Mahoney, I mean Colton, is on his way home when there are some earth quakes which release lava and worse still giant lava spiders the size of a man (well a dog). The nerdy science part of the Plopcorn panel feels obligated to point out that an organic life form cannot survive in Lava, that spiders an solitary not hive based creatures, that they are arachnids and not insects and that I’ll be painted pink and have Servalan from Blake’s 7 spank my bottom raw if the Mayan word for “giant hot spider” is Lavalantula. I guess we should move on.
Oh hold on, the film is the brain child of Anthony C. Ferrante, the person responsible for Sharknado, so science, physics and common sense have been suspended. Well, as you can imagine LA is terrorised by these flame spitting arachnids and Steve… Mahon… sorry Colton and his crew Jones and Hooks… no sorry Marty and Teddy save the day. No once you get passed the poor effects, the stupidity of the plot and the Police Academy reunion then you can relax and enjoy a pretty funny film. There are a few nice one liners, Guttenburg’s charm is still there and comes across well and the overall experience is fun to watch if not exactly challenging.
If you like the Sharknado style of film then this is a must see but it did leave us with many questions, such as “why if these spiders are super-hot isn’t anything burning?” or “What happened to the rest of the crew from Police Academy?” (Hightower died but Lassard is still alive!)… –
