Hunt to Kill
Originally Reviewed 1st February 2016
–++– Hunt to Kill –++– by Kevin
Take the legendary WWE Wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin and put him in a film where he gets to beat up and kill some bad people and you should be on to a winner. The Texas Rattle Snake was one of the most entertaining people in sports entertainment, a real tough SOB with a witty smash-mouth style and the physic to back it up.
However, upon watching Hunt to Kill we were left underwhelmed, a feeling of disappointment residing in our hearts that the opportunity to camp the film up with wrestling gimmickry had been missed. Stone Cold healing himself with moss and bits of his shirt and then going on to dispatch the bad guys makes for a half decent watch but there is nothing special here. There are no wrestling moves in the fights, no wrestling or Stone Cold puns or anything a bit tongue in cheek to celebrate the legend that is Steve Austin. I mean, he kills a man with a Flair gun and doesn’t even go Woooooooooooooo!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1BvkpykY7I
Don’t get us wrong, it’s not a bad film, it’s just not bad or good enough to be great, it’s mediocre. You could put any action type hero in here and it wouldn’t make a real difference at all. You know the script before the film starts, there are no surprises, it’s action by numbers “they took his [Daughter/Wife/Dog/Sex Toy] and now he is going to make them pay!”. Of course there are lots of stupid things that make no sense, like magic reloading crossbows or levitating up cliffs but even these are unremarkable.
We know the film is done on a budget, indeed the only striking thing about this film is that there are actually very few people in it. There are, in fact, more stunt actors that actual actors, by which I mean the people playing the roles. So let’s have a look at the characters.
• Jim Rhodes: A big muscular but accident prone park range/cop type with a tendency to get shot, stabbed, beaten and fall down cliffs but still survive due to his almost superhuman powers of recovery and hiking. He has a daughter that truly needs a slap.
• The Daughter: So annoying that we can’t recall her name. Indeed there is no way that Stone Cold would have tolerated her back-chat and dirty looks; she would have been on the receiving end of a stunner 30 seconds after she appears in the film, and that’s the bottom line
• Banksy: An intellectual villain that is a master of planning and is always one step ahead of his opponents, apart from when that opponent is big muscular but accident prone park range/cop type; then he just falls completely to shit.
• Cockney Villain: Taught at the Dick Van-Dyke school of Cockney
• Dorky Tech Villain: A walking cliché.
• Token Black Guy: He’s a bit rapey of course.
• Dominatrix Bitch: Another cliché but yet no gratuitous bondage clothing shots.
• Old Double-crossing Criminal: The catalyst for the whole thing taking place in “the wild” – because driving a car to Canada would be stupid right?
• Old sheriff: Killed for no reason
• Other friendly park ranger/cop: Killed for no reason
• Jim’s old partner: Killed for no real reason
Actually, come to think of it the last three didn’t even need to be in the film!
Overall Plopcorn 3:16 says dull! 
