Five Girls (5ive Girls)
Originally Reviewed 15th May 2015
–++– Five Girls Review: –++– by Kevin Maude
A film where five young and attractive girls are forced use their special powers to battle a force of evil; it sounds like a perfect plot so what could possibly go wrong? Quite a lot as it happens! Take the idea of five attractive young women in saucy clothing fighting evil, sounds good right?
Well what if they are actually girls, I mean school girls made to look sexy and showing a lot of skin… Ring Ring “hello, this is operation Ewe tree”…. OK the actresses are in their early 20s but if you say they are school girls then that’s what they are. Perhaps having a lesbian twist, potentially bold and interesting.
But no.. not a full on committed lesbian character , more a very slight bit of titillation in a desperate attempt to make amends for the plot we suspect, I mean the girl became a lesbian because her dad beat her – could it be any more cliché?
Speaking of the plot I guess it needs a mention; basically a young and pious girl is taken for no reason by a daemon in a creepy ass school. Years later these five girls are abandoned by their parents in a school that has the words “Abandon Hope All Yea That Enter Hear” and no other pupils, “gee – thanks mum and dad”. That each of these girls has a gift or power has no real bearing on the plot what so ever. They fight the daemon and the ending leaves us no sense of conclusion and is just disappointing.
You would hope that a film with Ron Pearlman in it would have had some credibility but I fear that Ron needed some cash quick, his character is pretty much superfluous. Actually, when you look at it almost everything that happens in the film is irrelevant or pointless and that’s the real issue here. The story is just rubbish, five fit birds fighting a daemon should have been an easy win. It takes a special kind of “talent” to botch an open goal like this we think.
Our advice, do not watch this film.
We give this 
– Just very bad.
